Farther Along We’ll Understand Why

These times we have been living in have been extraordinary on so many levels. Hurricanes, floods, record-breaking earthquakes, insane politics, etc. etc. and the eclipse!

In my personal life there have been some huge challenges over the past couple of months that have caused me to drop off the map. My husband Bob was diagnosed with leukemia on August 1 and he spent the entire month of August in the critical care unit at Vanderbilt. Thank goodness he had the type of leukemia that was more treatable and he had a good prognosis. Still, it has been beyond heartbreaking to watch him go through this and I found myself incapable of doing much of anything besides trying to be by his side and pray that he gets through it.

I woke up this morning on my birthday in such gratitude because yesterday late in the afternoon Bob’s tests came back and he is in remission! He has a few more treatments ahead of him but we are all so relieved and want to thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts on his behalf!

I know there are so many suffering today with all of these overlapping disasters as well as folks going through serious illness like we did. I have always tended to shy away from the expression “I feel blessed” even as we come out on the other side of this with good news.

What about the child who doesn’t survive the hurricane or the illness that doesn’t go into remission? Although I don’t judge those who use that expression because I know it comes from a well-intended place, I’m never comfortable saying it. It’s intrinsically human and natural to feel blessed with good fortune when good fortune prevails. But I get caught up wondering about all the ones who pulled the shorter straws.

I used to get in a lot of trouble as a kid in Sunday school class for outwardly expressing that I had a “bone to pick” with God over all of this suffering stuff. The Catholic nuns of the early ’60s would have no part of it and I spent a lot of time sitting in the hallway.

Regardless, I have no trouble embracing a deep sense of gratitude to be waking up on a day where the wind has shifted and the coolness of fall is in the air and the hardest part feels over for at least for a little while, or at least for now.

Now, more than ever, my favorite hymn is “Farther Along We’ll Understand Why” because it reassures me that it is all right not to know how, when or why we suffer. That in spite of it we can be grateful for times of joy and try to remember even in our darkest hour that we can reach for love.

12 Enlightened Replies

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  1. Sue Gill says:

    Best love to both of you, Beth you are so positive and an inspiration to many, it
    was so lovely to chat with you at Beverley ERT, i can’t but admire your attitude
    it’s a credit to you…love Sue

  2. Helen Salter says:

    Dear Beth, I was unable to wish you ‘Happy Birthday’ yesterday due to PC problems, but when I managed to get on-line a few minutes ago the news you sent us about Bob put everything into perspective. I confess I am in tears Beth as I type this, but DELIGHTED to read that Bob is in remission and I guess that was the best birthday present there could be. You make sense with your words Beth, but at the moment I am lost to know what else to ‘say’. I’m still the kid, as you say you were at school, raging at God for the injustices I see in the world everywhere – not least for the ‘slings and arrows’ He has thrown in your path. All I can do is send my love to both of you and THANK YOU again for the support you have been to me for so long. Love to you both, Helen xoxo

  3. Kurt Freund says:

    That makes my ❤️ flutter and I ❤️ the photos! I ❤️ you, Beth.

  4. Caroline Moore says:

    Good wishes to uou both from Aberdeen Scotland for a continued recovery

  5. Marie Chabot says:

    My prayers are with you and Bob. You have been such an inspiration to me! I love your music, and I wish the best for you and your family.

  6. I am so happy for you. Did not know this was going on. I am sure that the healing energy of your voice has made a big difference. Sending wishes for continued health — and song– for both of you.

  7. Brit Warner says:

    So grateful for the good news on Bob. Prayers for continued healing and permanent remission! You are always in our thoughts. Love to you and Bob and thank you for sharing the news!

  8. Terry VanQuickenborne says:

    Oh Beth & Bob,

    So very sorry to hear about your illness and yet so very happy to hear that you are in remission! Sending big hugs and happy healing vibes to both of you. I still think fondly on meeting you both at Connecting for Change here in Vancouver!

    xox
    Terry

  9. Martha Vaughan says:

    Wishing you and Bob the best! Love your music. My husband had cancer for 13 years and passed away this year. We both felt that none of us suffers for a reason. There is no good reason. But when faced with the challenge of what we get, it is all about the way we deal with it and of course, the gratefulness for every moment. I look forward to hearing your new songs and I hope they give validation and strength to many. Martha

  10. Carl Bradley says:

    Love you Beth. You have my prayers for you and your husband. In times of trouble I have often read the book of Job when I wanted to rail against God. It is true that “farther along” we will understand why.

  11. Mark David says:

    I’ll be sending you both sound and vibrational healing. Much love

  12. Judy Lawrence says:

    Happy birthday Beth! Thankful for your good news!

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